Yann: I’d need your help to carry the bike downstairs.
At Joïakine and Yann’s place Oskar is sleeping in the room next to us in the attic. Normally they use this room as gym and they have a few torturing gadgets in there, including one of those fitness bikes. With Oskar occupying the room, Yann wanted to move the bike one level down to their office.
Later today I was upstairs to do something else in Oskar’s room when I recalled Yann’s comment. Hm, I thought, let’s see how heavy that thing is. Maybe I can carry it on my own?
I lifted the bike and *damn* that sucker is heavy! Easily 50 kg and of course quite bulky.
I put it down and thought: Yup – you gotta have two guys for that.
Yet, after this short flash of reason, I was wondering how this could be best carried by one person. I tried again and figured out a good way to grab it and use my own weight to lift and carry it comfortably. Hm, I thought, I can actually carry that thing. And I carried it out of the room to the staircase where I faced…
Well, technically obstacle 1 was the weight of that beast. Shit! Really heavy! But a challenge, too. So okay: the first obstacle was the weight and I got that. So I moved the bike to the staircase where I faced…
The baby gate. You know, one of those gates you can install to avoid that your toddler wants to explore the stairs and learns to fly instead. These gates have some child proof locking system which is typically cumbersome enough that most adults fail to use it safely, too.
When I tried to carry the bike towards the stairs, this gate was an issue, because it really narrows the space you have. Have I mentioned the bike was bulky? Oh, and heavy, too? So after a few attempts I thought: Nah, this is too much of a hassle for one person alone. I better get Yann.
Having thought that, naturally I continued trying, and – dress me in pink and call me Candy! – I figured out how to manage this hot gate situation, too! But now I was at a critical point: I had found a way to pass the Thermopylae and I could move downhill. Which takes me to…
When you carry something really heavy downstairs (on wooden stairs, only wearing socks), you need to ensure you know when to make the call whether you can finish what you’ve started or not. There is a good chance that you might not be able to carry the pay load uphill again after you have passed a certain part of the journey and realize you bit more than you can chew. So, you need to be fucking damn sure you will be able to pull this off.
I was careful. I checked my balance with the weight. I judged how stable I felt when slowly allowing gravity to fully unfold its force on me. And I felt good about it. The bike was heavy, but I knew I would be able to manage it.
Now I had to get serious about…
This was a tricky one: the staircase makes two 90 degree turns. They look like this:
Here’s also when I was even more convinced that this is in fact easier to do on your own than with two people (at least when going downstairs). If you do this with two, you need to lift the bike very differently and potentially higher up, while on your own you can remain quite compact and arguably turn easier.
I admit it was still a pain and I had to navigate carefully, of course. I did sightly touch the wall when I pivoted, but at no time did I ever lose control of the load.
Two turns later I had finished the job and placed the bike in Yann’s office.
And yet I screwed up:
The thing is that I underestimated…
I mentioned that I slightly touched the walls when I was turning the first time on the staircase, didn’t I? The problem is: there was a window, too. And even though I only touched it ever so slightly, it still cracked and I made a nice little hole.
Oh, the $%#@*!…
So, while I had successfully moved the bloody bike, I had to confess like an idiot to Yann and Joy that I had broken their window. They were nice enough about it, but I still felt bad, of course.
We put a piece of carton onto the hole and also covered the cracks with tape.
This will do for now, but the window needs of course replacement.
I hope I don’t have to sleep outside tonight…